I nipped up to Wigan last night to drop off Noel my hamster with his surrogate family, The Crooks. I say “nipped” but it was actually more like 4 hours and a BBQ. They’ve text already to say he’s boring because he’s not moved and just slept all day, but he’s getting on in hamster years so I’ve left instructions to poke him with a lolly stick come 10pm just to check he’s not died.

I did nearly wail though, saft as it is I’m just used to having him as company now, and just chatter to him in the evenings, and it’s just nice having someone to look after. Managed to hold back the tears though – I’ll have two weeks without him but no need to worry as he’ll be well looked after. I can’t be phoning up from Malmo just to see if he’s ok. He’ll have a lovely time himself having so many people fussing over him.

Just dawned on me…… I left him at my Auntie’s in what I thought was a perfect spot. On top of ideal sized piece of furniture, not in direct sunlight, not too warm, not too cold, no draughts….on what I now recollect is the HEATED HOSTESS TROLLEY. If you’re reading this Julie and John please don’t let anyone switch it on by accident. Don’t want my hamster slow cooked. His species may originate in the tropical temperatures of the gobi desert but himself he’s only from Wrexham.